When I got pregnant last year in 2010, I know there were a lot of peeps who most likely thought to themselves, “Really? Meeshie? pregnant? she’s keeping it? Going to be a mommy? no way…she likes her freedom way too much…” and on and on. Honestly, all of those things went through my head too. But, I guess I have to grow up sooner or later. Living in San Diego doesn’t make it any easier to want to settle down or even have kids. But there was something in me that just clicked and I knew that I was ready.
It could have been the fact that I had breast cancer and my chances of even getting pregnant were slim. Back before I started chemo, my Oncologist wanted me to freeze my eggs. But DUDE! It’s like $15K for each time you do it and they say that 2-3 times is what you have to do in order to get a “good sample”. I took my chances. I guess you could say I won the lottery…because only fornicating once a week and I still got pregnant! (OK, I know you’re thinking…whoa…only once a week? Well, when you live and work with your boyfriend and are around each other 24/7 for over 2 years…it’ll happen - or not happen…HAHA…I made a funny)
I gave birth to the most wonderful baby boy - Maddox on 11/27/11. He’s the love of my life! I love him so much! Getting up 3-5 times in the middle of the night (for the last 6 months) to feed him, soothe him, and rock him was hard…getting no sleep for 6 months was hard…but when I gaze into his eyes or when he smiles at me when I come home from work…I forget all that and this flood of emotion overcomes me with a joy and happiness only a mommy can enjoy.
I hardly ever cry. I don’t cry at sappy movies…I barely cried when I found out I had cancer and I cried for maybe a minute when my hair started falling out after my first chemo session. BUT NOW…not sure if it’s a hormone thing or having a baby softened me up…because now I cry at commercials, when they announced the top 20 on So You Think You Can Dance, when I see something cute and cuddly, and when I’m driving in my car thinking about how much I love Maddox. Seriously??? Really??? ;p (I’m getting teary-eyed now…)
But just look at this kid! Now you see why I LOVE BEING A MOMMY! ;)