My Peeps CAN'T DRIVE!
OK, I know that I will get a lot of “crap” for this blog…but I’m prepared. I do not understand why Asian people just CANNOT drive to save their lives!!! Seriously!!! Asians are sometimes the strangest ethnic group of people. Yes, we are super duper awesome at math. Heck, by age 5 I knew my multiplication tables from 1 through 12 and could spit out the answer before my dad could finish saying, “What’s 12 times 11?”
"one-tirty-too!" (lil’ meeshie giggles) Wait, there was no giggling! There were hours and hours of sitting at the dining table doing math until my panoramic-viewing eyes (thanks, Kami) couldn’t take it anymore.
Asians are good at science too. I won my school science fair in the 7th grade and competed in the Chicago city science fair. My project was “The effects of acid rain on plants”. Complete with hypothesis, graphs, conclusion, and some dead plants.
And have you ever seen Asian people play golf? Talk about giving the new meaning to “ready golf”. They scurry out of their golf cart, run to the ball, hit a perfect shot, then run back to the golf cart and take off. Why is everyone running? It’s like they are doing the Chinese fire-drill all the damn time! Needless to say, when I am on the course I do have this sense of anxiety the group behind me will get pissed off if I’m lagging to far behind from the group in front of me! Maybe Asians were born with some weird “play golf quick” gene???!!! Oh wait…I don’t hit perfect shots though…HAHA.
So here’s the kicker…if Asians are sooo smart and are quick golf players…why in the HELL do they drive slower than snails??? Asians can’t turn properly, make a U-turn, park, let alone drive on the freeway, and I sometimes wonder if they are too scared to even start the damn car!
I hate to say this, but my Mom is one of these Asian drivers. I literally FEAR for my life when I’m in the car with her. ”Mom, if you go 50mph and everyone else is going at least 65mph, you are going to get plowed from behind!” I yell as I’m watching for cars as they speed up behind us and swerve to get out of the HER way. I know they are looking in their rear-view mirrors going “damn Asian drivers!”. (HAHA) “What? You want me get ticket? Insurance expensive yu know! Yu need save your money!” WTF? How did we get on me having to save my money? AHA, another Asian Tiger mother trait - but that is for a whole other blog…
Every time I’m on the road and some Nissan, Honda, Acura, Lexus is pissing me off, I can be assured that it’s either a chick Asian driver or “older” Asian person (like my Mom) behind the wheel. I can always tell because their seat is sitting at 90 degrees, with a head that can barely see over the steering wheel as they sit so close that if they so much as slightly tap their breaks, they will break their nose. And don’t even get me started on why anyone buying a BMW should go through a rigorous driving test…Asians getting the level 10 “hardest” driving test of them all.
Maybe it’s because I have A-D-D and always in a rush to get somewhere that I always made sure I drove a sports car so I could whip in and out of traffic to get to the red light 10 seconds faster only to sit there idling. I pride myself on being a really really really good Asian driver (aka: road rage so get out of my way…I gotz places to be people! omg, I’m LMFAO right now). <sigh> I miss Bianca Beemer…she was a great beemer who I loved dearly…memories…
OK, that’s my piece on Asian Drivers…I’m now ready for your comments! ;)
