Hookas, why do we insist on being "clothes and shoes" whores?

I’ve been SLOWLY unpacking my big black trash bags of clothes and shoes. I like to think of myself as someone who can easily let old clothes and shoes go…but as I garbage bag-dived to figure out what the hell was in them, I realized that I have some items from back in da day when I thought that a full jean outfit was HOT! Now that I’m a “mommy” some of my…ok..wait..MOST of my clothes seem too all of a sudden be too “young” or “inappropriate” to wear. ALL of my bikinis are Vegas - Sunday pool party style where most of my butt cheeks (which are now “asian flat”) are hanging out the bottom and just enough of the top of my arse crack shows.

And the shoes! Good LAWD the shoes! I’m one of those girls who finds a style she likes and ends up buying it in the 3 standard colors: black, brown, and white. I figure I’ll need ‘em for work. Then I LOVE HIGH HIGH HIGH HEELS! Hooka HIGH! When I was about 8 month pregnant I went to Macy’s with Jen and saw these thigh-high “Pretty Woman” black boots. I HAD to try them on and fell in love with them…can you imagine being there watching this pregnant chick putting on thigh high boots and trying to walk around in them? Like at any time after having Maddox I was going to be struttin’ around in them at da club…Whoot-Whoot! (No, I have not worn them yet..they are still in the box in my closet collecting dust…one day…) But seriously…all the mommies reading this know that heels and babies do not go well together. I have started slowing wearing wedges and heels…but with caution.

So now I have all these shoes which I barely wear…but my thought is this…one day, when Maddox is grown, I’ll be able to wear all my OLD clothes and shoes which I will think are still cool and in style. But, I’ll be that lady who thinks she’s hip while my son and his friends that come over mock me behind my back. “Awwww, Ms. Nguyen is so cute…she’s tries to be hip with her sooooooooooo 2010 BEBE snake skin heels and her one-piece jean outfit…”

So now what? Part of me wants to exude that “positive mommy role model” image. The other part of me is like “screw it! just cuz you’re a mommy now doesn’t mean you can’t aspire to MILF status”! All of you who know me, most likely know me all to well and can figure out that I will KEEP all the bikinis! HAHA! ;p

As for the clothes, I will keep all my short shorts and short cute sundresses. The only item I ended up relinquishing to the 90s was my one piece jean outfit…which now come to think of it…I’ll keep it because I know in a few years, it will be back in style.

I’ll carefully save only those shoes which I will wear and give away the others to good-will. Why not give them to my Hookas? Cuz girls, if I’m not even going to wear them, I don’t want you to be walking around in them either…I will not have random young girls born in the 90’s mocking my Hookas!!! ;)

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