I fart on feminism!
So I haven’t blogged in a while…between trying to work full time, raise a kid, do volunteer work on the side, collaborating on a new start-up company, working on my relationship (or lack of one), and pretending to train a few times a week to run half marathons every two months - I’ve just been a tad busy. Wait, forgot: and trying to have a some-what social life. But in all of my running around, I’ve come to despise my energetic go-getter enthusiasm and just want to be a stay at home mom! There! I said it!
Being brought up in the 20th century where so many civil rights movements occurred, it’s no wonder why I’m reverting back to the good ol’ days where the man goes to work and the woman stays home with the kids and has dinner ready on the table for her husband when he returns from work. Seems simple, easy, effortless (to me anyways). But I’ve been instilled with independence, strong-mindedness, and the ” I can do anything” attitude.
Before a child:
I could work all day, find time to workout twice a day, coordinate events each month, socialize with ALL my friends, and read in my spare time. It was go go go…here there everywhere! (errrr…that sounded very Dr. Seuss)
After a child:
Having Maddox was the BEST THING that could have ever happened to me! He is the reason why I have slo’d my ro’! If it wasn’t for him, I’d still be running around doing a 1,000 things without really “stopping to smell the roses”. So this is why I FART ON FEMINISM!
Because I want to be little Miss Independent, my days are filled with my career, my charity event planning business and volunteer meetings, trying to fit a workout in, stopping at the market, cooking, feeding and bathing a baby, having dinner for the man done, cleaning toys and straightening up the house for the next day’s nanny share, laundry, and then I finally get to eat then shower and get ready for bed. Usually 1-2 days a week, I have the peeps over so once Maddox goes down, I can actually visit with them. And let’s not forget, Ladies…the bedroom performance! Yes, ” I can do it”! HA! Thing is, I can. I can because that’s the way I was raised…that’s what I call “normal”…my reality.
At the end of the day…all I can think is that I wish I could wake up the next morning, take Maddox out of his crib and play all day with him. I think about all the cool places we could visit and how much fun we’d have. I would be there for every new step, word, fall, and hug. I could teach him to read early, have him adding numbers by the time he’s 3, and we could synch up our iPhone calendars with Mommy and Me play dates. Ahhh, crap…there I go again…
So I’m sure those of you who are reading this are probably saying, “just stop everything else and just work and raise Maddox”. I tried that already and I was miserable. I know I said that I FART ON FEMINISM…but like a fart, it dissipates, and so have my feelings about farting on feminism. It’s not Meeshie to sit at home doing nothing. It’s Meeshie to want to try and make some sort of difference in my world. So what I’ve learned to do is pick and choose what I can commit to - what doesn’t interfere with my time with Maddox while he’s “awake”. Once he goes down, I can have my meetings, make the phone calls, send out emails, work on events, write long-ass blogs, & watch my TiVo shows.
(I’ve also been blessed with the BEST FRIENDS in the whole wide world. Friends who have helped me find balance. Friends that know I have a child who goes to bed at 7:30pm and so they come over to my place and hang out, play with Maddox until he goes to bed, then the big peeps get to have our wine and TSN.)
I would have been the first in line in the 1920’s casting my vote and the first one in the 1960’s to burn my bra. That’s who I am…a feminist…it’s who I’ve become: an energetic go-getter who’s sometimes too independent for my own good…but oh well. Today, I’m just trying to be the first one that Maddox looks up to as he matures and becomes a man.